Glasses 20
by sue-sylvester-shuffle
Summary: America loses his glasses, and hilarity ensues. (It's named 2.0 because I have a Mario story with the same name.) Originally written on June 28th, 2013.


"Ah… Dude, have you seen my glasses?"

England looked up. America was sitting on his bed, running a hand over his bedside table. It was obvious that the brown-haired man couldn't see well from just looking at him; he was knocking everything off of the table, including a half-empty can of Coke, which spilled its sticky contents across the floor.

"No, I haven't." England pulled out his handkerchief and dabbed frustratedly at the spilled Coke.

For a split second, America looked worried. But, like a switch being flipped, his usual daft heroic grin was back on seconds later. "Well, whatever! I don't need those silly things." He stood up and headed toward the stairs. However, he slipped in the puddle of Coke and began skidding unceremoniously across the slicked floor.

America grabbed the railing, swaying dangerously close to the top of the stairs. "Whoa… dude, that was _awesome!_" He turned back to the stairs and began his descent. However, inevitably, he missed a step and began to tumble.

England tried to ignore the many crashes and yelled swear words that wafted up to him like a rotten smell as America fell down the stairs. However, America wasn't the only one talking now. There was a high-pitched second voice chattering as well.

"Ahhh! I surrender! I surrender! Germany, help! America is attacking me!"

"Is that… Bloody hell, is that _Italy?_" England's attention was now caught. He headed to the top of the stairs to see what was going on.

Italy was lying on the ground, sobbing and thrashing his fists. America was sitting on Italy's back, looking clueless as to where he was. England let out an exasperated sigh and went down to help.

When England reached the bottom of the stairs, he leaned in toward America's ear and whispered, "This could be our time to take some of the Axis's land. Germany doesn't seem to be here… at least not yet. Let's keep Italy here as a prisoner. So play it cool, okay?"

"I'm _always _cool!" America replied. He looked down at the source of the sobbing. "Surrender, Italy!"

"I do! I already did! Oh… don't hurt me… _Germany!_" Italy screeched, flailing helplessly.

It was then that the rather wimpy country noticed something. "Hey, hey! America, where are your glasses?"

"Dude, I literally have no idea!" America exclaimed. "It sucks!"

Suddenly, a loud, commanding voice roared furiously from outside. "England! America! I know you're there! _Let Italy go!_"

"Germany!" Italy shrieked. He thrashed around desperately to get out from under America. When he finally did, America flopped to the ground, looking around wildly. Without his glasses, he had _no _idea what was going on. He had to rely on only blurred pictures and sound, which was completely disorienting him.

Germany barged in. Italy threw himself at the tall blonde man. "Germany! You're here to save me! America was sitting on me!"

Germany glared down at America, who blinked up at him, completely unaware of his fate as the other country readied himself to attack.

England wasn't as unaware. He decided to take pity on America and step in. "Excuse me, Germany. May I suggest that you pick your battles more carefully?" he asked politely, leaning up against the railing. "Can't you see that our friend America is missing his glasses?"

Germany narrowed his eyes. "Yes. So?"

"Well, you wouldn't hit a blind man, would you, Germany?"

Germany crossed his arms. "…I suppose not."

"Good. Then won't you take your pitiful partner and-"

"I'm not finished." Germany grinned and cracked his knuckles. "I guess I'll have to settle for _you _instead."

"Oh, you don't have to do that." England's voice wavered slightly. "That's completely unnecessary, you don't-"

Ten minutes later, America and England lay side-by-side on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. Germany had beaten them up.

He had started with England, as promised, but then America had happened to find his glasses. He wasn't blind anymore, so Germany stopped beating up England and took America instead.

The awkward silence was only interrupted by America saying, "Wow… even though we got beat up by Germany, that was still totally awesome!"

"Bloody hell." England muttered under his breath.


End file.
